Walking By

If I fell into step with you for one day,

Would I ever be able to bear with your pain?

Would my shoulders slump,

Would my insides shudder?

Would my heart give way,

Or could I see something better?

Would I stand as life took its blows on my back?

Could I think just one time without dwelling in lack?

Could I walk as you walk past my skeptical glare?

Would I look as you look with your misty-eyed stare?

Where would I go as I watched my home crumble?

How could I walk on as my family stumbled?

What would I do if I lost all I've known?

How would I cope if I were alone?

I've blamed you,

I've cursed you,

I've left you for dead.

I've bruised you,

And beat you,

What's wrong in my head?!

I think these 4 walls that I've boxed myself in

Demonstrate how I'm strong and I'll fight and I'll win.

But I forget these 4 walls are a trap with no view,

No window to see what's right or what's true.

Because if I tore a wall down to see what I'd see,

I'd realize the real problem's not you, it's me.

Ball & Chain

Congrats, today's your day

Take these keys and drive away

You've got new wings

You've found new life

It's time to fly

100 miles per hour, wind through your hair

I should've known how much you cared

Cut these chains loose, adventures calling

Now you're free & I'm free falling

I should've known, but I saw too late

To my best friend, I was dead weight

Ball & chain

Run faster, don't look back

Don't lament the widening gap

I've got it covered

For us both

No need to fret

When you said you needed me, I was flattered

Now while your heart soars, mine's still shattered

Here I thought stripes were just your thing

But to you they were a prison game

How was I to know that by holding you up

I'd be the last thing dragging you down?

(*written June 2010*)

Perfect Failure

I'd like to introduce you to me
I take myself too seriously
I find that when someone isn’t impressed
I can’t seem to put my mind at rest
I feel that I must prove myself
The important matters hit the shelf
As I try to show that their terribly wrong
To assume I couldn’t nail a song
Or fight a good fight
Or serve Jesus right
Or help when they find themselves in a plight
Or keep my room clean
Or be nicer than mean
Or pull off the skinniest skinny jean
And though I struggle and strive as I might
I still never quite manage to get it all right
And while trying to prove that I’m the 8th world wonder
I think I seem to imply that my life is a blunder
One of epic proportions might I add
For the overall picture is really quite sad
Don’t know where I’m going, so often forget where I’ve been
Can’t come to grasp with all the things that I’ve seen
I can’t deal with people in most social settings
When I see new faces I find myself sweating
In sports I’m pathetic so please don’t press
And no, I don’t really know how to dress
In school I do well but find myself slipping
When they try to teach me reality gripping
Cause between theory and practice stands quite a gap
One I tend to trip on and hit the floor with a slap

But just when I start to think it’s not worth it
Jesus walks up, sees me, and says, “Perfect!!”
“I can’t show off my strength if you’re already ripped
Or display my justice if your scales aren’t tipped
Or give you my smarts if your mind is flawless
My righteousness if you’ve never been lawless
And step by step with me you’ll be refined
From your body to your soul to your heart to your mind
And you can say to yourself ‘It’s gonna be ok.’
‘Cause you really will be whole one day
And until then my forgiveness won’t expire
This river of love, it never gets drier.”

So really I’m living an extraordinary existence
In which I leave behind mere subsistence
And embrace a meaning that goes beyond my broken pride
The place where that old me gave up and died
Carrying me onward is Jesus, my hero
And I’m honored to take up the title of zero