2 poems written when life just stunk; maybe you know the feeling:
Dysphoria
My pen fell and there it lay
Across the pages I had written
Where you were that day
I can’t say but I was smitten
And wrote for us a song
That I’ve been singing ever since
My word stopped in mid-stroke
As tears fell hard to smudge the ink
My throat gasped, I was choked
My sailing heart begin to sink
I’d never known drowning
Would come so naturally
I couldn’t turn around and look you in the eyes
I knew the tears they held would be the end of me
Your weighted words caught me by surprise
And brick by brick they brought me to me knees
I tried to stop this page from turning
I tried to keep this book from burning
But wind and fire made the call
So now I can’t read at all
Tears make it hard to see
Please dysphoria leave me be
Indiscernible
I heard your words, they sounded like pain
As all my world was pouring rain
And I couldn’t hold on to staying sane
Beneath your words that dealt such pain
I heard your voice, it sounded like hurt
As they whispered softly that I was dirt
Lovingly suggesting that's all I'm worth
While you just walk, and I just hurt
I heard your assurances, they sounded like lies
Although your school may have made you wise
I feel as though I can still see your eyes
Telling me, begging me to believe in lies
I felt my face, it felt like tears
As I tried to forget those fateful years
That bid me to my greatest fears
And slowly broke me, reduced to tears
I felt my mind, it felt like ire
As I battled with so much conflicting desire
And struggled to pull myself out of the mire
Of sadness and hurtness and anger and ire
I felt my heart, it just felt shattered
Trust, hope, dreams, shamelessly battered
While sanity and fairness quickly scattered
That terrible day when my heart was shattered
I wish it mattered
To you
